i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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