Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize