ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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