Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize