At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
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The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
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Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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