This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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