you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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