When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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