i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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