tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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