i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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