Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
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She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
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My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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