you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize