My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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