So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
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Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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