you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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