I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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