I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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