My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize