You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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