So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
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It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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