He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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