Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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