I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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