That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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