Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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