The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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