I love black thongs
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
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u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
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You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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