i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
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You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize