somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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