Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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