We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
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As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
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Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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