i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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