trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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