I don't think brook has ever known best
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize