Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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