i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
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Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
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Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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