So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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