My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Your cock deserves a montage
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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