i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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