This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
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Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
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I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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