Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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