I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
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I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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