everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize