You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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