Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize