so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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