I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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