i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
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Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
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But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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