Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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